As I was cleaning my old Facebook page, I came across some of my very first writings I thought I would share it here:
1. Love Sucks: (2009)
Very powerful for someone who, back then, had experienced love and romance through really bad shows:
"She loved a man once who promised her life would be heaven. They used to dream together about the day they both were going to be together forever. The perfect wife she was and the ideal husband was he; that was in front of the people. But inside, at night, when doors were closed; all one could here was her screaming to him to leave her alone, and his nonstop beating to her. Now does it ring a bell? Of course it does! Like a friend of mine once said: "in this world, there is no romance or love; only greed and materialism that concurs our reality. Those who believe that love will solve whatever problem one faces, are day dreamers. They do not know that love is the main cause of destruction and sorrow." I mean, why on earth would people believe that love is the way to happiness or that baloney they talk about? Love is just a reason for people to keep believing that tomorrow will be a better place."
2. Valentine's Day: (2009)
I guess I was in a better mood than the one before:
"Valentine's day was never made for lovers only to exchange presents and express their love to each other. It was made also for us, to make us appreciate the fact that we are surrounded by true friends and family members; who simply love us for being us and not for hidden benefits. So let us just enjoy this wonderful day with our friends -and our lovers-for those who have- and Happy Valentine's Day to u all."
3. Goodbye Love: (2009)
My early attempts for poetry. I do not really quite understand the domineering theme of angst, and hatred I have been sporting back then:
"I was a little kid,
Not knowing what love was,
And one day you came by,
Your smile was sweet and your hair was messed,
You asked me how I was,
And asked me the direction to my heart,
I was naive enough to show you and not make you search for it,
And when you reached it, you took it and smashed it!
I built the sweet castles of happiness for us both,
But you simply came by and blew it away.
I tried to convince my heart that you were upset that day,
But my brain refused to believe my lie,
Reminded me of the other day,
When I waited for you under the rain,
You did not bother yourself to call and apologize.
But guess what Mr. Arrogant?!
I am a big girl now!
I have restored my brain,
Welded the pieces of my broken heart.
I do not need a pathetic loser like you no more.
You can kiss my love goodbye,
Weep for the days you did not appreciate my love to you.
Goodbye Love."
4. On My Own (2009)
Another poetry attempt:
"When roses bloom and trees become green,
Spring is here!
Oh what a relief!
My heart's gone numb along with my soul,
For you, no longer, have me under parole.
You were never nice,
But I don't need you!
I am on my own,
Thanks to you, I've never felt relieved.
That's my story what about yours?
You were selfish, cheap and always in need.
I was generous, blind and easy to deceive.
Run along now, I need you no more,
Thanks to you, I am a big girl now.
Fuck love and life who needs them both?
I am on my own and need you no more.
Love's a big lie you made me believe.
To you I was a bet, you were challenged to beat.
My love was true,
Yours was a fraud.
The hell was I thinking?
I should have killed you!
On the count of three,
When you lied and said you were in love.
Silly me to believe life's pink,
For you have made it simply stink!
Who are we kidding?
We have never been in love.
I am on my own and I am not going to love no more."
Ken (2010):
I don't think I was a big fan of the opposite sex!
"In the mall, I saw you with your perfect dazzling eyes that would make any girl sigh. You would make Adonis jealous with your mere presence. Perfect from the outside, empty on the inside. I look into your eyes, and I see nothing and it makes me frustrated. You have depended on your looks for too long, you no longer have a soul, and the problem with me is that I do not care about how you look. You would rather stay for hours styling your hair than sit and have a conversation about literature or the upcoming music fair. You are a "Ken" with no views on live what so ever and my last advice for you is to stay out of the sun because no one likes the smell of burning plastic!
5. Hot Pink (2010)
That was inspired by my daily journey to the university via public transportation:
"This is dedicated to every girl who suffers from public transportation; just bare with me.
Of course we have all seen what happens when we all have to take public transportation. Someone passing elbows you, a mother with her crying baby, and someone taking the bus with his gigantic backpack. For all these reasons, my future company Hot Pink presents to you the Hot Pink buses for transportation.
So how do these buses look?
Well, for starters, its colour is hot pink, naturally. It has black curtains. The bus is provided with very comfy chairs with enough space for your poor feet who have the right not to be squished and squashed after a very long day at work. There is a basket bin next to each chair so as to throw away tissue papers and gum wrappers. The fee depends on your destination. There will be air conditioner. The bus driver will be a lady.
The Bus Rules:
1. The bus has specific stops so no need to stand before you destination.
2. No children allowed on the bus under the age of 15.
3. NO MALES ALLOWED ON.
4. Smokers are not allowed on the bus.
5. Once the bus is full, it will no longer stop for anyone.
6. Passengers are not allowed to listen to music loudly.
Have a pleasant ride!
6. Untitled (2010)
Still sad poetry, but better writing, I believe. I moved from full pure angst to yearning:
"She looks up and sighs,
As she gazes high in the sky,
Stars twinkling here and there,
While poor her, has nowhere,
Loneliness is a curse,
She wishes for her worse.
Being down and blue,
With absolutely no clue,
She wanders over,
To the fields of clover,
Sitting and thinking,
As her depression comes down sinking,
For she has no home,
To call her own.
Darkness wraps her,
Hatred blinds her,
Full of envy and green,
As she watches then so keen,
Laughing and dancing, all in white,
As she waits for her shining knight,
To smile and bow his head,
The way she wanted before being dead,
To take her to a castle, that will be her home,
And gets to call it one of her own"
7. Thoughts I: (2010)
Still being a drama queen:
"I saw you today, being gentle with her and all kind. Why couldn't you be like that with me? Was I too much to handle? Did I do something wrong? Because I saw her, and I am sorry to say she is “not all that”. Hell I am way better; but it looks like you cannot handle those who are out of your league, who once loved and cherished you, who were willing to do anything to see you smile. Do you remember our first walk on the beach hand in hand; I was the one who touched yours not the other way round. I just realized it was always me who went and made the first step. Our relationship was a mere convenience for you, for you not to be out from the "IN-Group". Wow and you accuse me of being shallow! How ironic! But after all is said and done, I still love you and I wish you happiness with her because I am not a witch and because I have no control over my heart."
8. Thoughts II: (2010)
"Who am I?
I am that type of a girl who her male friends would confide in; who would give them advice on how to treat a lady. I am the girl who would have no problem getting her hands dirty for work or enjoyment, who boys think of as another male friend and would joke around freely knowing she would understand them and not criticize them. The girl who would be friends with her love and would be strong enough to help him get his “perfect other”, from his point of view, the one that would go and spread a good word for him just for “her” sake. The one who would set up the date for both of them and have the courage to raise the telephone and ask about it after it’s over. I am the girl who would listen to him being in love and saying he finally got it right; she will be thrilled for him from the outside while crying on the inside. She will never tell him though, in hopes that he would one day realize she was the one for him. She still would be hoping to catch his eye, that he might consider her a girl and not a boy. But for now she is contented as long as he is happy. I am that girl waiting patiently to realize what a fool he was all that time."
9. Thoughts III: (2010)
How I have envisioned my prince charming:
"My Gentleman
I do not want you to be perfect, for perfection I seek in dreams. I want you to care and make me feel special. A little jealousy won’t kill for it will show me that you still care. I want you to be my friend when I need one, my protector, and my soul mate. I do not care about fancy dates or expensive gifts, some alone time with you makes me over the moon and a small “I love you” will mean the world to me.
I know you are a human and you are allowed to make mistakes, but so am I and I am allowed to feel disappointed when you stand me up with no word of apology what so ever.
I want you to act like a gentleman, to open the door for me, to stand up when you see me approaching and to give me your coat when I am cold. Those small gestures mean the world to me and show me that you really care. Unfortunately, you never get a hint, and I do not why I still did not give up on you. You are far from what I thought I want and expect, yet there is this strange feeling that keeps pulling me towards you, it is so powerful that I find it hard to resist. You make me overlook all of this, I cannot lay a finger on this weird happy sensation I feel when I am around you. Why my heart flutters when I am around you, why my hands become freezing in the middle of the Summer when we shake hands, why am I so shy and nervous to talk to you, and why do I feel so down and blue when you go, maybe am sick after all, for you seem to revive me with your mere presence."
10. Thoughts IV: (2010)
What I have recited in my first poetry recital:
"Silence in a noisy crowd,
Screaming at the top of my lungs,
No one listens! No one cares!
Looking in a mirror with no reflection,
No shadow in the sun,
Who am I? What is going on?
No one answers! No one bothers!
Everybody is idle.
I run past them, shaking some,
Do you hear me? Do you see me?
-No response-
I give up and my reflection is back!
My shadow is there and my voice is clear!
I am like you all now!
Now they hear me!
I hang my head in shame
As I have lost my identity."
Thoughts V: (2010)
I was feeling numb back then.:
"Shattered glass everywhere,
Windows crashing down,
Gun shots going wild,
Children screaming,
Chaos! Chaos!
No help? How typical!
Fire blazes and eats away the building,
As their screams fade away.
The crowd is silent as they watch the fire in awe.
The bodies come out barely recognized.
I pray a silent prayer,
For all those who I watched them go.
Well I guess that I have evolved since then a lot.
Peace out! H!
1. Love Sucks: (2009)
Very powerful for someone who, back then, had experienced love and romance through really bad shows:
"She loved a man once who promised her life would be heaven. They used to dream together about the day they both were going to be together forever. The perfect wife she was and the ideal husband was he; that was in front of the people. But inside, at night, when doors were closed; all one could here was her screaming to him to leave her alone, and his nonstop beating to her. Now does it ring a bell? Of course it does! Like a friend of mine once said: "in this world, there is no romance or love; only greed and materialism that concurs our reality. Those who believe that love will solve whatever problem one faces, are day dreamers. They do not know that love is the main cause of destruction and sorrow." I mean, why on earth would people believe that love is the way to happiness or that baloney they talk about? Love is just a reason for people to keep believing that tomorrow will be a better place."
2. Valentine's Day: (2009)
I guess I was in a better mood than the one before:
"Valentine's day was never made for lovers only to exchange presents and express their love to each other. It was made also for us, to make us appreciate the fact that we are surrounded by true friends and family members; who simply love us for being us and not for hidden benefits. So let us just enjoy this wonderful day with our friends -and our lovers-for those who have- and Happy Valentine's Day to u all."
3. Goodbye Love: (2009)
My early attempts for poetry. I do not really quite understand the domineering theme of angst, and hatred I have been sporting back then:
"I was a little kid,
Not knowing what love was,
And one day you came by,
Your smile was sweet and your hair was messed,
You asked me how I was,
And asked me the direction to my heart,
I was naive enough to show you and not make you search for it,
And when you reached it, you took it and smashed it!
I built the sweet castles of happiness for us both,
But you simply came by and blew it away.
I tried to convince my heart that you were upset that day,
But my brain refused to believe my lie,
Reminded me of the other day,
When I waited for you under the rain,
You did not bother yourself to call and apologize.
But guess what Mr. Arrogant?!
I am a big girl now!
I have restored my brain,
Welded the pieces of my broken heart.
I do not need a pathetic loser like you no more.
You can kiss my love goodbye,
Weep for the days you did not appreciate my love to you.
Goodbye Love."
4. On My Own (2009)
Another poetry attempt:
"When roses bloom and trees become green,
Spring is here!
Oh what a relief!
My heart's gone numb along with my soul,
For you, no longer, have me under parole.
You were never nice,
But I don't need you!
I am on my own,
Thanks to you, I've never felt relieved.
That's my story what about yours?
You were selfish, cheap and always in need.
I was generous, blind and easy to deceive.
Run along now, I need you no more,
Thanks to you, I am a big girl now.
Fuck love and life who needs them both?
I am on my own and need you no more.
Love's a big lie you made me believe.
To you I was a bet, you were challenged to beat.
My love was true,
Yours was a fraud.
The hell was I thinking?
I should have killed you!
On the count of three,
When you lied and said you were in love.
Silly me to believe life's pink,
For you have made it simply stink!
Who are we kidding?
We have never been in love.
I am on my own and I am not going to love no more."
Ken (2010):
I don't think I was a big fan of the opposite sex!
"In the mall, I saw you with your perfect dazzling eyes that would make any girl sigh. You would make Adonis jealous with your mere presence. Perfect from the outside, empty on the inside. I look into your eyes, and I see nothing and it makes me frustrated. You have depended on your looks for too long, you no longer have a soul, and the problem with me is that I do not care about how you look. You would rather stay for hours styling your hair than sit and have a conversation about literature or the upcoming music fair. You are a "Ken" with no views on live what so ever and my last advice for you is to stay out of the sun because no one likes the smell of burning plastic!
5. Hot Pink (2010)
That was inspired by my daily journey to the university via public transportation:
"This is dedicated to every girl who suffers from public transportation; just bare with me.
Of course we have all seen what happens when we all have to take public transportation. Someone passing elbows you, a mother with her crying baby, and someone taking the bus with his gigantic backpack. For all these reasons, my future company Hot Pink presents to you the Hot Pink buses for transportation.
So how do these buses look?
Well, for starters, its colour is hot pink, naturally. It has black curtains. The bus is provided with very comfy chairs with enough space for your poor feet who have the right not to be squished and squashed after a very long day at work. There is a basket bin next to each chair so as to throw away tissue papers and gum wrappers. The fee depends on your destination. There will be air conditioner. The bus driver will be a lady.
The Bus Rules:
1. The bus has specific stops so no need to stand before you destination.
2. No children allowed on the bus under the age of 15.
3. NO MALES ALLOWED ON.
4. Smokers are not allowed on the bus.
5. Once the bus is full, it will no longer stop for anyone.
6. Passengers are not allowed to listen to music loudly.
Have a pleasant ride!
6. Untitled (2010)
Still sad poetry, but better writing, I believe. I moved from full pure angst to yearning:
"She looks up and sighs,
As she gazes high in the sky,
Stars twinkling here and there,
While poor her, has nowhere,
Loneliness is a curse,
She wishes for her worse.
Being down and blue,
With absolutely no clue,
She wanders over,
To the fields of clover,
Sitting and thinking,
As her depression comes down sinking,
For she has no home,
To call her own.
Darkness wraps her,
Hatred blinds her,
Full of envy and green,
As she watches then so keen,
Laughing and dancing, all in white,
As she waits for her shining knight,
To smile and bow his head,
The way she wanted before being dead,
To take her to a castle, that will be her home,
And gets to call it one of her own"
7. Thoughts I: (2010)
Still being a drama queen:
"I saw you today, being gentle with her and all kind. Why couldn't you be like that with me? Was I too much to handle? Did I do something wrong? Because I saw her, and I am sorry to say she is “not all that”. Hell I am way better; but it looks like you cannot handle those who are out of your league, who once loved and cherished you, who were willing to do anything to see you smile. Do you remember our first walk on the beach hand in hand; I was the one who touched yours not the other way round. I just realized it was always me who went and made the first step. Our relationship was a mere convenience for you, for you not to be out from the "IN-Group". Wow and you accuse me of being shallow! How ironic! But after all is said and done, I still love you and I wish you happiness with her because I am not a witch and because I have no control over my heart."
8. Thoughts II: (2010)
"Who am I?
I am that type of a girl who her male friends would confide in; who would give them advice on how to treat a lady. I am the girl who would have no problem getting her hands dirty for work or enjoyment, who boys think of as another male friend and would joke around freely knowing she would understand them and not criticize them. The girl who would be friends with her love and would be strong enough to help him get his “perfect other”, from his point of view, the one that would go and spread a good word for him just for “her” sake. The one who would set up the date for both of them and have the courage to raise the telephone and ask about it after it’s over. I am the girl who would listen to him being in love and saying he finally got it right; she will be thrilled for him from the outside while crying on the inside. She will never tell him though, in hopes that he would one day realize she was the one for him. She still would be hoping to catch his eye, that he might consider her a girl and not a boy. But for now she is contented as long as he is happy. I am that girl waiting patiently to realize what a fool he was all that time."
9. Thoughts III: (2010)
How I have envisioned my prince charming:
"My Gentleman
I do not want you to be perfect, for perfection I seek in dreams. I want you to care and make me feel special. A little jealousy won’t kill for it will show me that you still care. I want you to be my friend when I need one, my protector, and my soul mate. I do not care about fancy dates or expensive gifts, some alone time with you makes me over the moon and a small “I love you” will mean the world to me.
I know you are a human and you are allowed to make mistakes, but so am I and I am allowed to feel disappointed when you stand me up with no word of apology what so ever.
I want you to act like a gentleman, to open the door for me, to stand up when you see me approaching and to give me your coat when I am cold. Those small gestures mean the world to me and show me that you really care. Unfortunately, you never get a hint, and I do not why I still did not give up on you. You are far from what I thought I want and expect, yet there is this strange feeling that keeps pulling me towards you, it is so powerful that I find it hard to resist. You make me overlook all of this, I cannot lay a finger on this weird happy sensation I feel when I am around you. Why my heart flutters when I am around you, why my hands become freezing in the middle of the Summer when we shake hands, why am I so shy and nervous to talk to you, and why do I feel so down and blue when you go, maybe am sick after all, for you seem to revive me with your mere presence."
10. Thoughts IV: (2010)
What I have recited in my first poetry recital:
"Silence in a noisy crowd,
Screaming at the top of my lungs,
No one listens! No one cares!
Looking in a mirror with no reflection,
No shadow in the sun,
Who am I? What is going on?
No one answers! No one bothers!
Everybody is idle.
I run past them, shaking some,
Do you hear me? Do you see me?
-No response-
I give up and my reflection is back!
My shadow is there and my voice is clear!
I am like you all now!
Now they hear me!
I hang my head in shame
As I have lost my identity."
Thoughts V: (2010)
I was feeling numb back then.:
"Shattered glass everywhere,
Windows crashing down,
Gun shots going wild,
Children screaming,
Chaos! Chaos!
No help? How typical!
Fire blazes and eats away the building,
As their screams fade away.
The crowd is silent as they watch the fire in awe.
The bodies come out barely recognized.
I pray a silent prayer,
For all those who I watched them go.
Well I guess that I have evolved since then a lot.
Peace out! H!
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